Saturday, January 5, 2008

Two Old People

Special thanks to Spencer for the following joke:

Gas station attendant: "Can I help you?"

Old man: "Fill 'er up."

Old Woman: (asks the old man) "What'd he say?"

Old Man: "He asked if he could help us."
Old Woman: "Tell him to fill 'er up."

Old Man: "I told him to fill it up."

Gas station attendant: "Where are you two headed?"

Old Man: "We're going to Disneyland."

Old Woman: "What'd he say?"

Old man: "He asked us where we're headed."

Old Woman: "Tell him we're going to Disneyland."

Old Man: (disgustingly) "I told him we're going to Disneyland!"

Gas station attendant: "Where are you two from?"

Old Man: "We're from Hudsonville."

Old Woman: "What'd he say?"

Old Man: (angrily) "He asked us where we're from!"

Old Woman: "Tell him we're from Hudsonville."

Old Man: (very angry) "I TOLD HIM WE'RE FROM HUDSONVILLE!"

Gas station attendant: "Hudsonville, I've been to Hudsonville before. The women there are DOG UGLY!"

Old Woman: "What'd he say?"

Old Man: (looks at the old woman, then at the gas station attendant, and then back to the old woman and says) "He said he's met you before!"

12 comments:

A Note From Theresa said...

That was funny, thanks, needed that

Kristina said...

Too funny!

Glad to have you back in the blogging world again!

Jessica said...

Oh, that's mean! LOL! It's funny though.

spencer said...

WOW i didnt think that ladies would comment on this

The Good Reporters said...

That was really funny. Great job Spencer!!! :)

spencer said...

Thanks.

spencer said...

Introduce the skit by saying, "We now take you to
the Oval Office."

President Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condoleezza Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

President Bush: Great. Lay it on me.

Condoleezza Rice: Hu is the new leader of China.

President Bush: That's what I want to know.

Condoleezza Rice: That's what I'm telling you.

President Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes.

President Bush: I mean the fellow's name.

Condoleezza Rice: Hu.

President Bush: The guy in China.

Condoleezza Rice: Hu.

President Bush: The new leader of China.

Condoleezza Rice: Hu.

President Bush: The Chinaman!

Condoleezza Rice: Hu is leading China.

President Bush: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condoleezza Rice: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

President Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condoleezza Rice: That's the man's name.

President Bush: That's who's name?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes.

President Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condoleezza Rice: That's correct.

President Bush: Then who is in China?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: Yassir is in China?

Condoleezza Rice: No, sir.

President Bush: Then who is?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: Yassir?

Condoleezza Rice: No, sir.

President Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condoleezza Rice: Kofi?

President Bush: No, thanks.

Condoleezza Rice: You want Kofi?

President Bush: No.

Condoleezza Rice: You don't want Kofi.

President Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condoleezza Rice: Kofi?

President Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condoleezza Rice: And call who?

President Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condoleezza Rice: Hu is the guy in China.

President Bush: Will you stay out of China?!

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condoleezza Rice: Kofi.

President Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Dr. Rice picks up the phone.)

Condoleezza Rice: Rice, here.

President Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Idea by Spencer Jones

spencer said...

hey I found another one. but it is kind of long.

Sis. Julie said...

Hi Bro. David!! Noticed you have not posted in a while. Just wanted to let you know I'm missing your posts. I pray all is well your way!

Ginger said...

LOL...Cute joke. I wanted to thank you for putting me on your blog roll. This is my first time stopping by your blog and I was very surprised to see my site on yours. I'm honored:)
Ginger

David Scott said...

Ginger,

Thanks for visiting!

David Scott said...

Sister Julie,

I was going to take a long break, but it seems this blog has a mind of it's own and is attracting more readers now than it ever did. I guess they don't want me to quit :)

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